Men Are Rejecting The Dating Market - Here's What They're Doing Instead

Since I started doing coaching, I've had the opportunity to talk to guys from all over the world. And one group of guys fascinates me more than any other: the passport bros.

They show up in the comments all the time. If I'm making commentary about a relationship I had with an American woman or reflecting on the way American women behave, they chime in strong. They come in and say, "John, you got to get your passport."

Now, I'll be honest - I'm pretty lazy when it comes to travel. If she doesn't live in my neighborhood, I'm not crossing any bridges or climbing any mountains. I need walking distance, you know? Getting a passport seems like a lot of work. I actually pulled mine out recently and the damn thing has expired.

But here's what I've noticed about the passport bros: They are not just sex tourists. This is not what their deal is. These guys are out there actually looking for real women, for real relationships.

There are a lot of people who have misconceptions about passport bros. They think these guys are just hunting for women in developing countries because these women are in financially compromised positions, and these guys can take advantage of power inequities to manipulate them.

I think that's pretty cynical, and I don't think it's true for the vast majority of them.

I think the vast majority of these guys are just fed up with:

These are the people driving the female agenda or feminist agenda. If you're with a western woman and she picks up on some WULFE tweets, your whole life could be turned upside down.

But these guys are actually out there looking for traditional, healthy relationships where:

That's why they're getting their passports.

When I'm talking about a passport bro, I'm talking about any Western guy who decides to go to a developing country with the purpose of meeting a woman and developing a potential long-term relationship - maybe even marriage - with the intention of either moving to that country or bringing her home.

This isn't just some one-off thing. There's an entire organized movement of Passport Bros with:

The most popular countries include:

Each has different cultural characteristics that may attract people one way or the other.

Just because you meet a woman overseas doesn't mean everything's going to be perfect. I've talked to guys who did the passport bro thing, brought the woman back here, only to find that they didn't do their due diligence.

They took certain things for granted just because she was from a developing country. They had preconceived ideas about who she was and what her goals were. Only once they got her back here, married, and started having babies did everything blow up.

I've also gotten some good stories. There's this dentist I talked to who went overseas and met a woman in Colombia. He's 42, she's 30 - a bit of an age gap, but they've been married for 2 years, have a baby, and seem quite happy.

She's doing part-time work while caring for the baby. It's not like he's super rich and she's not doing anything. It's not an exchange of money for services, which is how many people want to frame these relationships.

Some guys think, "John, I'm not a rich man. I can't just go flying all over the world trying to meet women."

But consider this: Dating in the United States isn't cheap either.

Compare that to:

You can call it a personal vacation - an exploratory vacation where you check things out, meet some women, do research on what it's like to live there, and consider the possibilities.

When you're traveling to other countries or trying to meet people from a distance, the opportunity for scammers is extremely high. Long-distance relationships and dating apps create perfect opportunities for catfishing.

Red flags to watch for:

I had a client who thought he was developing a relationship with a woman from Thailand. She had a sick relative story, pretended she didn't want his money until he was begging to send thousands of dollars. When he got there, she didn't exist.

When dealing with people from different cultures, especially in developing countries, there's enormous financial incentive for them to scam you. Combine that with:

It's super easy to find yourself in a bad spot.

Seek out resources first:

Don't go blind into these situations. That's how bad things happen and cautionary tales are made.

You can experiment with the passport bro life without actually getting a passport first. Video dating apps allow you to interact with women from other parts of the world, giving you exposure and helping you understand what you're looking for.

Men going from west to east is not a one-off thing anymore. It's a cultural phenomenon. This is something happening on a large scale, and it's an option many men need to consider.

There are opportunities here to:

When we think about Passport Bros, we think this is something modern and new, but this kind of romance has been going on for generations - at least back to World War II and maybe before. Men would go overseas for military service or other reasons and come back with a wife.

My own mother falls into this category. My dad was in the Navy, met her in Scotland, they fell in love, had a typical romance, and came home. She became an American citizen and they were married for 20+ years.

I don't see things changing culturally here in the US on a widespread basis anytime soon. So if you are truly fed up with American women and the cultural dynamics here, maybe it's time to search abroad.

But do it smart:

The opportunity to meet different people and have a different kind of life - maybe shape something the way you want it - there's an enormous opportunity here.

What are your thoughts on the passport bros movement? Have you considered international dating, or do you have experience with it? Share your perspective in the comments below.